So, I have decided to turn over a new leaf.
Last night as I was talking to my mother (Turtle); we analyzed Mark's races (for the past 12 years) and his career as a professional swimmer. He is good. He has been successful. He will continue to be successful. He is happy.
Enter: new leaf.
I am vowing right here and right now to not be a nervous wreck going forward. I know, I know... you'll believe it when you see it, but I swear. Here is my analysis...
I have faith in Mark, in the hard work that he has put in, in his experience and in his ability to race. Honestly, I did not have that much fun in California watching Mark. I was too nervous. This is not right. This is not what swimming is about. This is not what life is about.
Yes, swimming is a big deal. It is Mark's job and the Gangloff Clan's livelihood. But, at the end of the day, you have to enjoy what you're doing. I worry that my crazy nervousness shows. This is the opposite of what I want and who I want to be. I want to be flexible, easy going and breezy.
Side note: I used to tell Mark that Breezy was my first name and Danger was my middle name (these are the 'people' I want to be... kind of sounds like a super hero, right?). So, going forward, you can call me Breezy Danger Gangloff. I can see the comic book now.
Anyway... back to my new leaf...
The beauty of professional swimming now is that there are opportunities to work, to make money and to support your family. Yes, swimming fast does make it easier to make a living, but, like anything else, hard work pays off.
Now, I'm not saying that I don't think Mark can swim fast. Nor am I saying that I don't want Mark to swim fast...'cause I do. But, what I am saying is that I have faith. I have faith in Mark and I have faith in other things that I know will support us in anything (and everything) we do.
Okay, so I'll still get a little nervous (who wouldn't?!), but I will not let it paralyze me, I will not let it show on my face, and I will not let it disrupt the joy Mark finds in swimming and that I find in watching him swim.
Consider this new leaf turned over.
I feel cleansed.
Though I almost through the computer screen on the floor when it kept rebooting every time I tried to login to Skype. Ugh. Serenity now. Serenity now. Serenity now... See, I'm breezy.